I slept with Santa's son!
by MegaAnimeFreak7
Summary: "Suddenly, the gears in the raven's head were kicked into overdrive. It all made sense. Why Naruto had said he was from 'up north', why the sex had been 'magical', and why a little elf had barged into their room. 'Holy shit', He thought to himself. 'I slept with Santa's son.'"


**Gift SasuNaru fic for my loyal watchers. Merry fucking Christmas my brethren! :3**

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**SUMMARY: ****Suddenly, the gears in the raven's head were kicked into overdrive. It all made sense. Why Naruto had said he was from 'up north', why the sex had been 'magical', and why a little elf had barged into their room.**

_**Holy shit,**_** he thought to himself. **_**I slept with Santa's son.**_

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**These characters are over 2000 years old**

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**Warning: Possible OOCness (hopefully not), OC's, Christianity****, Santa Claus, some history on the holiday and the Spirit of Christmas in general.**** If you can't deal than hit that backspace button please and thank you. This is a fanfic about SasuNaru (Sasuke Uchiha and Naruto Uzumaki). It is yaoi= gay love story, men on men, all wieners- no buns  
Don't like, Don't read, Don't comment**

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"Come ON Sasuke!" Sasuke Uchiha's older brother, Itachi whined. "You've gotta live a little!"

"Aniki, you are sounding more and more like a whining two year old." The raven commented as he ate his noodles on the living room couch.

His brother huffed and sat beside him angrily. "Well maybe I wouldn't _have_ to if you would actually _listen_ to me for once!" he complained. He grabbed his sibling's hand and pulled, forcing the man to turn his way if he didn't want to spill his dinner all over himself. "Sasuke, you've been with girl after girl after _girl_ and you haven't stuck with _any_ of them! It's pretty evident now that you are picking the EXACT SAME TYPE OF GIRL!"

Now it was the raven's turn to huff as he looked away. "What are you talking about aniki? Hinata was soft spoken and shy while Ino was loud and prudish. There are no similarities."

"You're wrong otouto," Itachi said disapprovingly. "You forget one other thing."

"Which is?"

The older male raised his hands in defeat, pointing them at the ceiling. "They were _all_ boring as hell, you picked them all up from either the library, the coffee shop down the street or church, and NONE of them beat your two month limit!"

Sasuke chuckled. "It's been a while since you've been _this_ theatrical nii-san. Maybe I'm doing something right."

Itachi quickly looked back down, shaking a finger in the younger's face. "Don't you change the subject! I'm trying to tell you that it's time to widen your horizons! I'm tired of listening to you complain about another relationship gone down the tubes, or listen to your ex-girlfriends whine to me about how much of a dick_ you_ were over the phone when I was simply trying to order a pizza!"

Sasuke smirked. "Well maybe if you checked the caller ID you'd-"

His sentence was cut off when a large hand slapped itself over his mouth. He glared up at his brother, who was staring back at him with a pleading look in his eyes. "Look, Sasuke. All I'm asking for is that you come out with me and the guys to the club tonight. Dad already knows I'm going but I bet he'll be _more_ than a little shocked to find out that you're coming with."

The raven below him pushed off the offending hand, snarling. "Itachi..." he began. The other clasped his hands together, shaking them beggingly.

"Please! Just come with us! You may find someone that you like. Please! Please please pleaseeeeeeeee!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes and sighed. It was very rare that his brother begged _him_ for stuff, so the last few phone calls from Ino must've _really_ set him off. "Alright," he conceded. "Fine. But only this _one_ time."

Itachi let out a happy yell and stood, wrapping his brother in a bear hug. "Thank you thank you thank you!"

"What is going on here?" a deep voice bellowed. The pair turned to see their father standing in the doorway, grocery bags in hand. Their mother was squealing at the two behind him.

Itachi grinned. "Sasuke here decided he's coming clubbing with me and the guys tonight!"

_Huh,_ Sasuke thought as he watched his father's eyes bulge out and his eyebrows disappear into his hairline with surprise. _What do ya know? Itachi was right._

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As soon as he'd taken a step into the club/bar/strip joint Sasuke immediately regretted accepting his brother's invitation.

The music was loud and it seemed to pound inside his head. The bar stools were full with men and women alike getting drunk out of their minds. He was pretty sure he saw five different guys slip something into some unsuspecting girl's drink. And one girl slip a roofie into another guy's drink.

He looked around, noticing the large dance floor that took up most of the room. Despite the sign outside saying that this was a club, he was pretty sure that it hosted as a strip joint on the side. I mean, why else would every girl that stepped in here _automatically_ start grinding against the nearest guy, then get offended when said guy began grinding on them in return?

He turned away in disgust, heading towards the bar for some water. His brother had ditched him long ago in favor of some dark haired harlot that was beckoning him over. Even his brother's friends had gone. He had considered turning around and walking right back out that door, but he was pretty sure his father would ask him why he was back after having left five minutes ago.

He took a seat at the bar after some drunkard vacated it. The bartender turned to him, wiping down the glass in his hand. "What'll ya have?" he asked in a thick New Yorker accent.

"Water please." The raven answered. The tender looked bewildered.

"A-are ya sure?" he asked him.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Can I get an apple cider then?" he growled. "No alcohol." There was no way in hell he was going to look like a drunken fool _here_.

The man behind the bar raised an eyebrow in disapproval as he turned to get the order. Sasuke rolled his eyes again and roved the club scene one more time. As he leaned against the bar his eyes landed on the dance floor. His jaw dropped as he noticed the person in the middle. Or more like, the _blonde_ in the middle.

The crowd had cleared to give the boy some room as he twirled and swished his hips to the music. They cheered as he ran his hands down his body to the beat of the music, then just as easily turned around, raising his arms above his head. He quickly span, his boots making it easy to do. He stretched, giving everyone a clear view of his perk bottom, which was wrapped in a pair of jean short-shorts.

It was quite clear that he was the center of attention.

Sasuke rose, his eyes never leaving the blondes invigorating body. He moved through the crowd with ease. He was slightly surprised that no one had gone up to join the blonde on the dance floor, but that was when he realized. Everyone was just to mesmerized by his movements and sexy body to actually _do_ something about it.

Before he knew it, he was at the front of the crowd, following his movements along with them as the man danced like nobody was watching, when that was _entirely_ the opposite of what everyone was doing.

Sasuke tapped his foot and waited for the perfect break in the music before he strolled up, laying his hands on the blonde's hips and moving with him. The boy gasped and looked over his shoulder at the stranger. Sasuke only smirked. "Hey." He whispered.

The whiskered blonde blinked once before he broke out into a bright smile, most likely blinding half of the room. "Hiya!" he replied cheerfully.

"You come here often?" Sasuke asked, lightly grinding into the other's backside. The blonde shook his head.

"Nope," he answered. "This is actually my first time here Mr...?"

"Sasuke," the raven supplied. He leaned down, kissing the blonde's ear. "_Sasuke_ Uchiha," he whispered seductively. He smirked as the boy shuddered. "You may have heard of me."

The blonde turned in the raven's arms, wrapping his arms lazily around the man's neck. "Hmm. Don't say that I have."

Sasuke widened his eyes in surprise. "Really? You haven't heard of me and my family?"

The boy shook his head. "Nope." He answered truthfully.

"Do you not live around here?" the raven asked. He watched as the blonde's eyes seemed to sparkle with excitement.

"Not really. I live up North."

Sasuke furrowed his brows. Up north? Like where exactly? They were in the US. "Like... Canada?" he asked hesitantly.

The whiskered blonde laughed at this. "Not quite. I live a bit... further _up_ than that."

The Uchiha racked his brain for an answer. What exactly did he mean by that? "I don't understand." he admitted. The blonde grinned.

"Not everything is easily explained," he announced as the music switched gears, turning from a slow dance to a fast paced, "have-sex-with-your-partner-on-the-dance-floor" song. The blonde wasted no opportunities as he suddenly plastered himself against the older man, grinding into him for all it was worth. "How about we just dance? That is what we came here to do. Right S'uke?" he drawled as he turned around, grinding his backside into the raven's front.

Sasuke swore to God he'd died and gone to heaven. "H-hey," he let out breathily as the blonde danced like he'd never seen. "What's your name anyways?"

"Name?" the blonde called back over the roar of the music, reaching down and guiding the man's hands up and down his slim body.

"Y-yeah," the raven said. "I've given you mine. I think it's about time you return the favor."

The blonde giggled and released his hold on the raven's hands, letting them drop to his sides. "My..." he started swaying, making sure that his ass was connected to the raven's front at all times. "... name is..." He suddenly stretched his arms above his head and dropped, pulling off a perfect 'pop, lock and drop'. The crowd cheered as he put his hands on his thighs and stuck his butt out, slowly shimming his way back up the raven's front. When he was in an upright position again he grabbed one of the man's hands and set it on his stomach, letting it follow its own course while his own arm wrapped around the raven's neck, pulling them closer. "... Naruto." He breathed out through plump, pink lips.

"U-u-u-u-uh huh." Was the only thing the Uchiha could utter. The blonde had left him completely speechless.

"Is that all you want to know?" Naruto casually asked, leading the Uchiha's hands around on his body. The cat calls from the audience were not missed by the two.

Sasuke swallowed. "U-um... Why are you here then? Why bother coming out here to a dingy club when there are far better uses of your time?"

The whiskered male smiled. "I just... I needed to get away from it all. My dad's been stressing and it's affecting all of us. Happens every year and I just couldn't deal with his maniacal attitude this time around."

Sasuke frowned despite the fact that the blonde had reached around and grabbed his ass. "Won't your parents get worried that you up and left?"

Naruto turned in his arms, pressing chest against chest once more. He wrapped his arms around the raven's neck and smiled up at him. "Thank you for the concern but it's okay. I'm sure they're just fine. He has a whole bunch of helpers after all."

"Oh. So your dad runs a factory?" The Uchiha asked. The blonde chuckled.

"More or less," he answered. "Besides, I'm not planning on staying here for long. I'll be going back soon. Tomorrow maybe. I gotta check how much power I have in my reserve."

Sasuke nodded. "Yeah. You'll need a lot of willpower to face your dad I take it?"

Naruto giggled, shaking his head. He stood on his toes and placed a light kiss on the raven's lips, earning a gasp from the crowd. "You're cute." He laughed.

"And you're gorgeous." The older male replied instantly. The blonde blinked before blinding him with another beautiful smile.

"Sasuke..." the blonde whispered. He leaned up and pressed his lips to the other's ear. "Let's go somewhere more private and have a... _jolly_ good time."

The raven didn't need to be told twice as he allowed himself to be pulled towards the upstairs rooms provided in the club. On the way out he noticed his older brother sitting with his friends. The man took one look at the blonde before shooting his otouto an approving smirk. Sasuke grinned and gave a thumbs up as Itachi's friends broke the silent conversation with wolf whistles.

Once in the room Naruto pushed the Uchiha onto the heart shaped bed. The raven only had time to adjust himself properly before the blonde jumped on him, ripping his shirt in half. Later on, Sasuke would have the blonde's head for that, but for right now the ferocity in his eyes had him sprouting a boner in seconds.

The whiskered blonde straddled the man, running his hands up and down the moonlight pale chest. He lightly scratched the surface with his blunt fingernails and bit his lip in excitement. He leaned down, kissing the older's neck. He then moved up, licking the shell of the raven's ear. Sasuke took his own opportunity and grabbed the blonde's ass, squeezing the perk globes for all it was worth.

Naruto grinned sexily and bit the Uchiha's ear slightly. "I hope you're ready to _deck the halls_."

Sasuke's eyes widened as the blonde suddenly went down his body, unzipping his pants and taking the head of his member into his hot mouth. His eyes fluttered closed as he let out an appreciative groan.

At this point, he was practically _begging_ to "deck the halls".

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Sasuke awoke to bright sunlight pilfering through the dark curtains of the clubroom. He groaned and tried to cover his eyes with his hand when he realized he couldn't. Looking down, he noticed a mop of blonde hair snuggled into his hickie covered chest, using his arm as a pillow.

As soon as he saw the golden blonde hair he remembered everything. His brother's insistent begging, the club, the snarky bartender, the dance floor and Naruto. Naruto smiling, Naruto laughing, Naruto grinding against him on the dance floor and then Naruto bouncing on his cock.

The raven smiled at the memory. Yeah, that last one had been great. The blonde was an _animal_, no doubt. He _had_ to have had some kind of wild beast in him last night cause the way he moved shouldn't have been humanly possible. It had been truly _magical_ if he could say so himself.

A light moaning sound startled him from his thoughts. He looked down to see the blonde looking back up at him, kiss reddened lips pulled back in a smile. "Mmm. S'uke. If you don't stop grabbing my ass like that I won't last another second."

The man was startled for the second time that morning as he realized that his hand was indeed grabbing the blonde's ass. He let go and the whiskered male snuggled closer to him.

"I never said you had to stop." He sleepily said. Sasuke smiled.

"Good morning to you too Naruto." He said as he bent down, laying a chaste kiss on the boy's forehead. The blonde smiled, then frowned.

"Where does this leave us?" he asked.

"What do you mean?"

Naruto sighed. "We had mind-blowing sex last night, that's evident, but what about from now on? Is this a one night stand to you or what cause I have to go back home?"

Sasuke frowned as well. "I never planned on this being a one night stand. You're way too sexy for me to let you go," the blonde smiled at this and the raven smirked. "Besides, _I'm_ the only one that managed to catch you!_ Plus_, my brother saw us go up here. He's gonna want to tease the hell out of me and I'm not going through that alone."

Naruto chuckled. "So what? I'm your scapegoat?"

The Uchiha pulled the blonde closer, reveling in his warmth. "That's right _dobe_."

The blonde laughed and playfully slapped his arm. "Shut up _teme_."

The raven chuckled and titled the boy's chin upwards with his finger. He leaned down, placing his lips on the other's. They laid there, kissing as if they were the only ones in the world that mattered, as if they had no one but each other.

Suddenly there was a bright flash that shone even through their closed eyelids. They cried out and covered their eyes in pain. When they felt the pain subside they slowly opened their eyes and turned towards the source.

Sasuke's jaw dropped.

There, where they'd felt the light originate from, was a portal. The hole was outlined in a sparkly blue light. Snowflakes were slowly making their way out of the hole and onto the bedroom floor, only to melt into it. But the thing was, there were no water spots! The flakes would melt but then completely disappear, leaving no trace that they had ever been there.

The raven looked back up at the portal, now noticing a little yellow elf's shoe poking out of it. Soon, a tiny Japanese woman with wild red hair, dressed in elf's clothes and square glasses stood before them, pulling a silver clipboard out of thin air and scratching at one of her elf ears. Sasuke turned to gadge the blonde's reaction only to see that he didn't look the least bit shocked. Actually, he looked quite annoyed. He crossed his arms, huffed and leaned onto the raven's chest (when had Sasuke sat up?).

"Okay, so Naruto," the little woman began, not looking up from her clipboard. "Your daddy sent for you. He wants you too-" This time she _did_ look up. Her deep red eyes bulged out, looking _just_ as shocked as Sasuke was. Then her eyes narrowed, her lips pursed and she put on hand on her hip while the other went up in the air, shaking it from left to right (where had the clipboard gone?). "Oh _hellllll_ no! I _know_ you didn't just up and _sleep_ with somebody when you have shit to do!"

The blonde pouted, moving closer to his lover. "Oh _please_ Karin, you _know_ daddy just gives me that shit to do cause I can't do anything else. And so _what_ if I slept with somebody? Can't _I_ get a little 'me' time?"

The elf woman known as Karin just scowled at him. "Hell no! You know you can't just go and whore yourself out willy-nilly like a bag o' skittles! Your daddy raised you better than that! Plus, that guy could have aids or some shit!"

Despite not understanding the situation at all, Sasuke was deeply offended.

"Sasuke does NOT have aids!" Naruto shouted, defending him. "I checked while we were dancing!"

The raven's eyes widened. When would he have had the time with all his grinding last night? Even more so, how would he have been _able_ to? Was he a doctor or something?

"_Sasuke?!_" Karin screamed. "You know this mortal by name?!"

The blonde laughed haughtily. "Yeah, I DO! I also know how many abs he has and how big his dick is!"

Sasuke blushed while Karin clicked her tongue, waving her finger and head around in a typical 'black girl' move. "Oh, you done _fucked_ up now boy," she growled. "I'll make sure Minato knows EXACTLY what you done did."

At this announcement the whiskered blonde stood, practically tripping over himself to grab the sassy elf before she crawled back through the hole in the wall. "Wait! Wait!" he cried out, grabbing her arm. "Please don't tell daddy what I done did! He'd kill me! He's not as jolly as everyone thinks!"

Karin rolled her eyes. "And why the hell shouldn't I? You broke a major rule!"

The blonde looked to the ground, a blush seeping onto his tanned face. "B-because..." he whispered. "I... I actually _like_ this one. He's just so... handsome and charming and he swept me off my feet last night."

The elf's eyes did a quick once over of the boy's body, noting the marks. She then did a once over of Sasuke's body, who raised his hands to cover his nipples, prickling under the scrutiny. She smirked. "Well, he's definitely a looker," she admitted. "He any good in the sack?"

Both men blushed. "He is. _Believe_ me. And... Um..." Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "I um... I k-kissed him."

The woman scoffed. "So what?"

The blush on the blonde's face darkened. "I kissed him when we woke up together."

At this the elf's eyes widened quite a bit. Sasuke was afraid her eyes would pop out. Not that it'd surprise him with all the shit going on right now. "YOU KISSED HIM THE MORNING AFTER?!" she cried out. Surely everyone downstairs had heard her.

Naruto raised a finger to his lips, shushing her. "Shh! It's not such a big deal!"

"Bitch, like _hell_ it ain't a big deal! You-!" she turned to Sasuke, dumbfounded. She pointed at the man, grinning. "Oh, you are DEF coming along!" She turned on her heel, clipboard back in hand. "Naruto! Get dressed! You two are coming right now!"

The blonde sighed and began walking around the room, picking up the clothes they'd thrown haphazardly around the previous night. He tossed the raven his pants while he slid into his own. "Come on Sasuke. She doesn't take no for an answer."

The raven, despite his better judgment, decided to pull on his boxers and pants. He looked around for his shirt before remembering that the blonde had completely demolished it yesterday. He sighed and stood up, getting a small towel and some warm water to clean himself up with.

Once Karin deemed the two ready she clapped her hands. "Alright! Let's go then!" And with that she crawled through the hole, disappearing into the unknown.

Naruto reached out and grabbed the Uchiha's hand, pulling him towards the portal. "Come on teme."

All Sasuke remembered was crawling through the small hole in the wall, a bright array of colors rivaling the Northern Lights glowing around him and then snowflakes. When he blinked, he was in a... *Ahem* "Winter Wonderland".

"This is definitely not the club/bar/strip joint." He grumbled to himself. The whiskered blonde beside him laughed.

"Of course not silly! It should be fairly easy to tell where we are. I mean, I dropped a LOT of hints."

The raven turned to him in surprise. Had he? If he had, _he_ certainly didn't pick up on them.

"Naruto! Sasuke! This way!" a voice called behind them. The older male turned... and choked. Was that Karin? She looked NOTHING like she had earlier. Well, she still had the red hair and glasses and everything, but now she was wearing this long purple jacket top with black short shorts and a pair of boots on. The only indication that she had ever been her little elf size was the hat on her head and the bells on her boots. Even her elf ears were gone!

"You're life sized!" Sasuke couldn't help but blurt out. The other two laughed.

"Yeah, I am," she said. "I only turn into an elf in the human world. Why it works that way, I dunno know, but I'm fine up here."

The gears in Sasuke's head were turning. What did she mean by that? Why was she suddenly human sized? Why was she even ELF sized? Why did that portal remind him of the Northern Lights and WHY did Naruto just let go of his hand?! Now he was cold as hell!

"Daddy!" The blonde cried as he ran towards an approaching figure. The two hugged before the blonde pulled back, grinning from ear to ear. "I brought a friend home with me."

The stranger frowned. "Naruto, what have I told you about bringing people from the outside here? You know what Orochimaru would-"

"Oh hush, he's no danger," the blonde waved his hand dismissively. "He's done nothing but treat me with TLC!" He watched as his father's eyes grew dark and he blushed, realizing what that had sounded like. "A-as a friend of course!" he sputtered.

Sasuke stood silent as the figure approached him, holding out a white mitten covered hand. "Well then, welcome Sasuke Uchiha!"

The raven's eyes widened. "How do you know who I..." His sentence trailed off as he noticed what the man was wearing. Or more like, what Naruto's _father_ was wearing. He stared in utter shock at the bright red felt suit with a big black belt. On his feet were coal black leather boots and on his head was a bright red hat with a little cotton ball hanging off the end. The man only smiled back at him.

"Why Sasuke. Why would you ask such a thing? I know all the good little girls and boys. I have to update that naughty and nice list after all."

Suddenly, the gears in the raven's head were kicked into overdrive. It all made sense. Why Naruto had said he was from 'up north', why the sex had been 'magical', why he was freezing his ass off and why a little elf had barged into their room. He saw Naruto grinning widely behind his father and time stood still.

_Holy shit,_ he thought to himself. _I slept with Santa's son._

With this realization his legs gave up on him. He fell to the snow covered ground, landing harshly on his knees. He didn't even feel the pain. Naruto's dad let out a shriek before ordering one of the elves to get him some water. Sasuke couldn't even hear the order. His mind was gone.

Then something popped into his head randomly. Naruto hadn't been dropping hints. He'd been dropping puns! Especially when he'd pushed him into the mattress and whispered, "I hope you're ready to _deck the halls_."

"That cheeky little shit." He couldn't help but whisper.

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**A/N: Surprise Sasuke. Not sure if I should continue this. What do you guys think?**


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